That’s Why I Married You: How to Love with Personality Differences

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Chana’s second book, “That’s Why I Married You!” is a practical handbook for couples to learn how to not only live with personality differences but to actually love those differences. The fact is that we’re naturally attracted to someone who possesses significant differences (amid various similarities). These differences hold a tremendous power of connection and vibrancy if we can use them correctly. Without the proper emotional tools and the right mindset, however, these very differences can trip a couple up and can even wreak havoc in a marriage.

This book was written, based on Chana’s research, in which she surveyed hundreds of married people in the States and interviewed couples in 8 different countries.  One memorable ‘interviewing’ moment was a recent interview of a great couple who own and run a fruit stand. Chana reports how fascinating it was to watch how their blend of extreme extroversion (his) and strong grounded-ness (hers) created their marital masterpiece; a masterpiece created only after 15 years of working on their relationship. Their advice? “Hang in there…a lasting marriage is so worth it! So many times we could’ve walked away from our marriage but we pushed through. And here we are, years later, stronger than ever! We both needed to do some serious changing but needed the time to make those changes. We feel great about who we’re becoming, both as individuals…and as a couple…what a process!”

When a couple finally opens their eyes to the power hidden within their personality differences, they often find themselves saying, Oh…that’s why I married you! It is truly exciting to discover the many ways each spouse completes each other as a result of their personality differences.

That’s Why I Married You! is packed with essential marriage advice, information, practical exercises, tips and charts. Through the real-life narratives of successful couples who share how they make their personality differences work, the reader will find inspiration and guidance. Marriage is the ultimate journey; That’s Why I Married You! is the qualified manual for a successful journey.

The testimonials are coming in and they show that Chana Levitan is really hitting upon some core issues with great success:

“This research-based book is a gem. It shines light on why it’s not the differences between people that cause marital problems – it’s how those differences are understood, handled, accepted, and embraced. Buy the book, read it, follow its wisdom, and increase your chances for what we all dream of – a happy, healthy, lifetime love and marriage.”

Howard J. Markman, PhD; John Evans Distinguished Professor, Psychology Department, University of Denver


“Chana Levitan crystallizes the treacherous steps that lead to a downward-spiraling marriage. She then clarifies options for transitioning to upward spiraling, that is, for emerging from annoyance at differences to enjoying each other, differences and all. Essential reading for all couples who want a lasting and loving marriage, and for marriage therapists as well. This book earns a super-bravo!”

Susan Heitler, PhD; Author of Prescriptions without Pills: For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety and More


“Chana Levitan has written a very practical and thorough book that provides a roadmap for achieving a paradigm shift. Practical, clearly explained recommendations provide couples with tools to transform their personality differences into a powerful engine for personal growth and deepened connection. I highly recommend this book for singles, couples, and marriage therapists.”

David Pelcovitz, PhD; Straus Chair in Psychology and Education, Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration, Yeshiva University


“I read Ms. Levitan’s book from the perspective of almost four decades in family court as advocate, mediator, and decisor. I was amazed by the extent to which her reality-based commonsense prescription for harnessing the positive value of a couple’s inevitable differences might have helped some of the thousands of couples I have seen over the years in the throes of their dissolving relationships. This book should be given away by every marriage license bureau in the country to every applicant. If they would just follow her approach, I might never meet them.”

Dan Butler: Family court judge; nationally renowned speaker